Perette's Journal: 2001

1. The Prophecy and free will

2001-02-06 journal insightful

As I think I wrote previously, I’ve felt a prophecy of a something going wrong in 2025, lasting until 2031. I’m not sure what goes wrong, but my guesses would be either famine, energy/resource shortage, plague, or some combination thereof.

If I didn’t mention previously, I think it first surfaced around November or December. I should be a good girl and keep a better diary.

I’ve been trying to figure out what to do with it. The standard future paranoia apply: not discussing it may cause the event, as may not discussing it. It feels like it’s become more distinct. It’s like it started out vague, and I was uncertain what it is, but as I get closer, I am seeing more detail and it different, maybe more distinct, but is still taking focus and there is a lot of detail missing.

Unfortunately, I’ve started thinking about it a little too much I think, and my conscious mind may begin interfering.

At the same time, I’ve begun to see many of the world’s problems differently. Many of them are arbitrary, and keep us distracted from what is really important. We allow our interest in them, and when we become vested, we allow ourselves to be yanked around by the problem. See also: my worrying about this problem.

I believe in free will, and that whatever is going to go wrong can be changed. Oddly, though, I doubt it will - things continue going down a rat-hole, with workplace rage (shootings) going down fairly regularly so far this year. The key is, I think, giving people enlightenment so that they realize that (1) we control our own destiny, and (2) in the grand scheme, our lives don’t matter (though the way we live them certainly affects our enjoyment of the time we spend here, as well as that of others'), and (3) pushing harder to enforce our desired way of life is only threatening someone else, who in turn pushes harder; the result is an unbounded escalation.

2. What to do when I'm not happy at work?

2001-05-15 transcription journal

Transcribed from white board at work, where I’ve been analyzing self over the past week or so.

Code I work on is crap.
Rewrite it.
        Too much effort.
Live with it.
        I don't want to.
Yes you do [you have to].  It's your job.
        I don't like it.
Then leave.
        I shouldn't.  Besides, I could fix the code.
        (This contradicts with /Too much effort/ above)
Why not?
        1.  Aspects of this job are okay.
        2.  And, I shouldn't job hop.
#2, agreed.  #1, What do you like?
        I like the pay, perceived stability, bus-line access,
        people I work with.
        And, I hate looking for a new job.
So the only thing I don't like is the code?
[later added quality, stress level]?
        Yes, I think so.  (Loop back to /Rewrite it/.



My current stress level is unacceptable.
Isolate source and eliminate.
        Multiple sources.
List.
        Bush is increasing probability of 2025 disaster.
Do something.
        I can't.
Yes, you can.  Consensual reality.
        I don't want to expend the quantity of effort required to
        stop it.
Learn to live with my choice.

        Work stress levels increasing due to many tasks which
        everyone wants done now.
Complete tasks.
        More arrive.
Reject them.
        It's my job.
(Goto /It's my job/ in separate loop above.)

        Relationship.
You aren't being open.
        Agreed.