The Hellevator Prayer
Our Controller that art in thy Attic Lift be Thy Name, Thy Lift-Car come, they request be done, in Sol as it is in Gleason. Give us this hour our requested lift, and forgive us our Hammering as we forgive those whose motors are slow. Lead us not into subbasement and deliver us without freefall. For 'Ding!' is the Caller, the Arrival, and the Emergency, when Ringing forever and ever.......
Down.