Twin X Peaks Files ------------------ Written by Perette Michelle Barella Date 12 May 1994 Approx time 4 minutes 15 seconds Parts: ------ Dave Gooper [Coop] Handy [Harry] Aimey [Andy] Lugnut [Lucy] Frog [Hawk] Andy [a teenage kid] Pete [older guy, a judge] Mike [a lawyer] Fred [a teenager] Bob [a teenager] Rich [a teenager] Harold [man] Reginald [man] Rachael [teenage woman] Script: ------- [Mellow music plays. Scenes of nature, them some machines doing things. "The Twin X Peaks Files" text appears, then fades. Eventually fade to black] [Fade in, see donuts, pan up to table of people] Dave: Andy, tell us what you saw. Andy: [Voice scared] Well, yeah, uh... Me and the guys, we were, you know, hiking around on top of yellow mountain. We found all these trees knocked down, they made like a path. So we followed it and at the end we found this... Craft. It wasn't an airplane. It didn't look like anything I've ever seen before. It looked alien. Lugnut: Well, you know, we did get some calls a few months ago from people who were saying that they saw something crash on top of yellow mountain. Handy: Why didn't we hear about this? Lugnut: Well, nobody had actually gone up to see if something had crashed, they said they just saw lights and stuff. I didn't want to waste your time without a reliable report. Frog: [Picks up a donut, stands up straight] Good thinking, Lugnut. ["Cheers" the donut, bites in] Dave: Well, I suppose we better go up there and investigate now. Aimey: But first let's finish the donuts. group: Here here! [They grab at donuts] [Shot of a street light turning off] Pete: [Getting stuff from fridge] [Sung] I waaaant a pick-le saaaandwich. [Knock] [Pete looks up] Come in. Mike: [Walks in room] You wanted to see me, judge? Pete: [We see Pete. Pete is at a desk, putting some bread on a plate. Through skit, Pete works on putting mayonaise on bread, then pickles] Yeah. That witness of yours - the young girl. She's a virgin, right? Mike: Yes, as far as I know. She's only 15. Pete: Do you think you could arrange a meeting? Just me and her, alone? Mike: Well... Uh... This sounds a bit unethical. Pete: [Upset] Damn ethics! Do you want to win this case or not? [Calming] I just want to cross-examine her myself. Mike: [Looking down] I'll see what I can do. Pete: Thank you. You're going to go places some day. Mike: Sure. [Turns and walks out solemnly, closes door] Pete: [Picks up sandwich and bites into it. Chews and looks at it unhappily. Puts sandwich down, begins searching, and mumbles] Now where did I put those anchovies. [Show a shot in the woods. There are small tombstones with chalked in names on them. There are a number of dolls heads scattered around] [We see a vehicle going up a dirt road. Vehicle perference is Bronco-type, truck, car] [Show cuts of the vehicle going through some intersections. All the intersections look the same.] [They arrive outside a building, preferably a remote one] Rich: [Inside truck] We're here. [They walk into building, look around a bit] [Cut to front shot of Harold, Reginald is in background] Harold: Hello. Are you members here? Bob: [pauses, unzips jacket, reaches in and puts out a rather large plaque. The plaque looks like it shouldn't fit in his jacket. Gives plaque to Harold] Harold: [Examines plaque. Hands it back to Bob, who replaces it in his coat. Fred has a dumbfounded look on his face] You and your friends are welcome here. Rich: Who is that? [Show a woman looking into room from a doorway. After a moment, she ducks out of sight] Bob: I don't know. I've never been here before. Rich: What is this place? How did you become a member? Bob: It is passed on from one generation to the next. Upon coming of age, our family tells us about this place. They have information here dating back... a while. [They enter another room. Bob begins examining some books. Rich begins examining a statue of a demonish type thing, which is covered with cobwebs] Rich: This is amazing... I've seen things like this in my archaeology texts. Bob: [Already examining a book] Mmmm. Yes, you probably have. Look at this. [Moves to show Rich a book, knocks over a can of goo (chocolate sauce) onto Rich's pants legs] Rich: Aw smeg! [Begins to try to get sauce off] Bob: Sorry about that. [Picks up sauce can, reads something on it.] [Solemn] Oh. Rich: [Looks up] What? What is it? Bob: [Just stares at Rich] [We see Rich, and Rachael comes up behind him] Rachael:Are you my pirate star? Rich: Uh... [Looks at pants, looks at her. Looks at pants, looks at her again] Rachael:[Grabs Rich, pulls her body against his, and french kisses him] [It gets brighter, they disappear] Bob: [Drops book, puts can down very carefully onto shelf.] [Show cuts of water coming out of a pipe, a bicycle tire spinning with a bloody body in the background] [We see some police cars gathered around a spot near a road] [Dave, Frog, Handy, Aimey are packing up for a hike] Dave: Let's go. Frog, you lead the way. [They walk off into the woods. Slowly pan upwards to sky. Suddenly, a new star appears, even in the daylight. Very briliant at first, then dims, but is still visible. Fade shot and leave the star up and fade it afterward.] VO: Next week, on the Twin X Peaks Files: [Show following cuts: pile of Bloody bodies, some flowers being up rooted, a car going around a corner, a man mowing a lawn, water running down a road and into a storm drain] Voices: [Dave] I've never seen a pink rock before. [Harold] They have formed a union of Logopolis. [Sound effect of some sheep] [Lugnut] They said it was blocking their driveway, so I let them borrow the keys. [Pete] Would you like a peanut-butter and pickle sandwich? [Cut to Zapping screen, with strange images flashing and noise. Sudden end]