Proposed script for Luni Hack Show #4, subtitled puke.

Nordly Bile	(large) Derrick
Mrs. Pukus	(frail) Tina 
Mrs. Mukus		Tammie 
Mr. B. Arfy	(geeky)	Joe

Ref			Anyone
VO			Burton
 
Scene:  Vomit off
 
Cast:  4 contestants (2 men & 2 women), a referee, a voice over, and
       a crowd.
 
 
Setting:  A daily picnic.
 
 
Intro:  The usual picnic activities.  People laughing, enjoying a barbeque and
        playing games like softball, volleyball and horseshoes.  
 
 
Voice Over:  Hello there, and welcome to the tenth annual putrid picnic for
             putrid people.  Today, our annual events include softball for
             overwieght grannys, the baby toss for underweight babies and 
             the popular favorite, the hand grilling contest.  Our new event,
             one already enjoyed by all, is taking place as I speak, so 
             let's go there now.
 
 
Change of setting to a picnic table with four people, two men and two women.  
Before them lay large bowls.  Their faces look pale and are crusted over
with food.  They look anxious for the race to start.
 
 
Voice Over:  As you can see, our four finalists are readying themselves
             for the Vomit off.
 
             First, there is Nordly Bile, a first rate contender, defeating
             his previous oppenents with ease.
 
             (Shot of Nordly, a well fit men looking able to perform the task).
 
             Our second finalist is Mrs Pucus from Walla Walla Washington.
 
             (Shot of Mrs Pucus, an aged grandma)
             
             She nearly lost the last round, but with a desperate final 
             lunge from her stomach she out did her oppenents.
             The third contestant, Mrs Mucus Membedbraned enjoyed an easier
             first victory, but suffered a slight setback by spraining her
             throat in the semi-final round.  However, she was able to
             overcome her injury, and now sits with the best in her sport.
          
             (Shot of Mrs Mucus, rubbing her sprained throat)
 
             Finally, Mr. Dudely B. Arfy, a late entry in the contest, and
             a long shot for finishing at all.  He semes to be quite pale.
 
             (Shot of Mr.  Arfy, quite a nerdly fellow looking quite sick)
 
 
Voice Over:  Alright, all quiet now as the referee explains the rules.
 
 
Referee  :   Well, you know the rules.  No aiding each other, or stealing
             each other's puke.  No name calling, No fake vomit, No ass 
             picking and after three dry heaves, you're disqualified.
             Now lets have a clean race.   Ready...Go
 
Voice Over:  And they're off.....
 
             (Shots of the four contestants beginning their puking).
 
             (As voice over talks about contestants, they are on film)
 
             Mr B. Arfy, gets a good bowl full of puke on his first heave,
             but seems to be having trouble getting a second.  Mrs Mucus looks
             quite able to let her lunch out despite her injury, and Mr bile's
             form looks perfectly professional. 
 
             (Crowd oohhs)  Who, Mrs Pucus just let out a blood curdling
             burp following her heave of wet oatmeal and Medimucil.  Yes,
             Mr Bile is in the lead, his bowl nearly half full, but Mrs 
             Pucus is in second, then Mrs Mucus, and Mr. B. Arfy struggles
             in last place. 
 
             Ohh, with that heave, Mrs Mucus passes Mrs Pucus and moves
             into second Place.
 
             (Crowd oohs again)  Oh no, Mr arfy has passed out, his head
             slopping into his bowl.  That leaves three contestants folks,
             isn't this exciting.
 
             As Mr. B. Arfy is helped from the table, Mrs.  Mucus passes 
             Mr.  Bile with another loud heave, Mrs Mucus is faltering
             with her throat injury.  
 
             (Crowd gasps)   Mrs Pucus heaves her way to first place with
              a sudden surge of red tainted puke,
 
             No!  Mr.  Bile has retaken first place, the three contestants
             puking neck and neck.
 
             Oh no!  It looks like Mrs.  Mucus is dry heaving...That's one, two,
             three heaves...She is now disqualified from the race.  As
             the referee fights to pull her away, Mr Bile regains the lead
             with a heave of partially digested vegetables.  
 
             What will it be folks, who will win this most exciting race.
 
             (The crowd cheers as each contestant go back-n-forth in first
              place.  A separate shot of crowd cheers, then go back to
              the two contestants with numerous bowls of vomit around them.)
 
             It looks like Mr Bile is faltering.   He's near...yes, he falls
             unconscious in his own puke.  The referee declares Mrs.  Pucus
             the first winner of the vomit off.  A 70 year old
             woman from Wouldbe Rochester has won the vomit off.  
             What an exciting day folks.
 
             Boy, she seems happy now with her first place prize, a
             free dinner with all the barf bags she can use.
             Well, I hope you enjoyed our highlight event at the putrid picnic.
             Please join us later for the blood extraction race, a sure
             crowd pleaser.  Thanx, and so long and good puking...
 
 
 
 
 
END.
 
 
 
There, how's this for a 2-minute script.  Sorry for all the typos, but I did
this on my 30 minute lunch break.  
 
         - brock 
Voice Over: