War on VMS Possibly written by Derrick Williams . As a special witness to The President's War on VMS committee, Bill the Cat reveals his sordid past: "At first, I just did it on weekends, with my friends, you know? We never wanted to hurt anyone. The girls loved it. We'd sit around the computer and do a little VMS hacking. It was just a kick. At least that's what we thought. Then it got worse. "It got so I'd have to do som VMS hacking during weekends. After a while I couldn't even wake up in the morning without having a craving to run SYSGEN. Then it started affecting my job. I would just have to do it during my break. Maybe run a DCL command or two. I eventually started doing VMS hacking just to get through the day. Of course, it screwed up my mind so much that I couldn't even function as a normal cat. VMS got me fired from my job. "I'm lucky today. I've overcome my VMS problem. It wasn't easy. If you're smart, just don't start. Remember, if a manager offers you some VMS project, just say no." V V M M SSS V V MM MM S S V V M M M M S V V M M M S V V M M S S V M M SSS JUST SAY NO! copr. 1990 someone -- Why did the drive head cross the tracks? It was driven to do so! ---***Phred***---