The Pukes, for the Looneys Hack Show - Episode 4 : Food
Written by Derrick Williams.  Rough time=3:30
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location=looney_bin
cast
	Mr. Puke	Neil
	Mrs. Puke	Tina | Caryn
	Sally		KC
	Bobby		Joe
	Mrs. Wilkinson	Tammi
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		[fade in]
		[See door open, Mr. Puke entering]
		[Mr. Puke is wearing 50-s style tv dad office attire]
Mr.puke		HI, HONEY! I'M ...
		[Mr. Puke pukes]
		[walks through puke, tracking it across floor some]
		[hangs hat and coat on rack]
		[Mrs. Puke is wearing 50-s style tv mom kitchen attire,
		covered with mess]
Mrs.puke	Hello Darling!
		[they kiss]
		Oh, here's your drink dear.
		[gets drink from off table nearby, gives it to Mr Puke]
Mr.puke		Thanks honey.  Ahh, What a day!
		[sips drink]
		[pukes onto kitchen table]
		Ugh.. [wipes off chair, sits down]

		Fred  at  work  got the promotion to general health
		inspector, and, uh, ugh, ugh... [dry heaves a few
		times, brings up a little finally.  Wipes face
		clean]
Mrs.Puke	[she is in the kitchen]
		Don't worry, dear, I know you work hard, and it's
		only a matter of time before they notice your
		efforts.
		[pukes on stove]
		[Mrs. Puke opens oven door and moves a pot into oven]
		[Mrs. Puke pukes oreos and milk on the stove]
		By the way, dear, Little Sally's teacher, Mrs. Wilkinson,
		is coming to eat with us tonight.  Apparently, Sally's
		having problems in class and she will be talking to us
		about it.
Mr.Puke		Gosh, I hope it's not serious.  I better go up and see
		how Bobby and Sally are doing.
		[Mr. Puke gets up and goes to kiss his wife.  As he prepares
		to kiss, he pukes onto her collar.  He then kisses his
		wife and leaves the room]

		[Bobby & Sally are working on homework]
		[daddy enters the room]
Sally		Daddy, daddy!
		[Sally gets up quickly, then pukes all over the table.
		puke is spaghetti & sauce]
Bobby		Aw, gee whiz!
		[tries to wipe a paper clean.  It rips, he throws it
		out and starts with a clean sheet.]
Mr. Puke	Hi Kids!  Say, why don't you two set the table?  We're
		expecting company tonight.
Bobby		Okay, dad!
		[Smiles, then pukes up peanut butter and jelly]
		[Doorbell rings]
Mr.Puke		Oh, that must be Mrs. Wilkinson.
		[Approaches door]
		I'll get it, honey.
		[Opens door.]
		Hello, Mrs. Wilkinson?
Mrs. W.		Hello, you must be Mr. Puke!  
		[Sees puke-coated suit]
		Are you feeling well?
Mr. Puke	Never better!  Won't you come in?
		[Mrs. Wilkinson enters]
		[Mrs. Wilkinson screams, looks around, horrified]
		[Mrs. Puke enters room, wiping hands on apron]
Mrs. Puke	What's wrong?  Are you all right?
Mrs. W.		Did something die in this house?  What in god's
		name is this awful stench?
		[Mr. Puke sniffs]
Mr. Puke	I don't smell anything.
		[looks at Mrs. Puke, they exchange "What's with her" looks]
		Why don't we have something to drink.
		[Mr. Puke helps Mrs. Wilkinson to a sofa.  Mrs. W. has
		buried her hands in her face]
Mr. Puke	[yelling] Sally, can you give your teacher a cup of coffee]
Sally		[heard from other room]  I didn't drink the coffee, Daddy.
		Bobby did.
Mr. Puke	Bobby!
Mrs. W.		Mr. Puke, I want to get straight to the point.  It
		has come to my attention that your daughter, sally,
		may be bulimic.  She vomits often, and at her age,
		feelings of inadequacy about her weight isn't that uncommon.
Mr. Puke	Why, this comes as a surprise.  Sally is a normal,
		healthy little girl.  Are you sure you're not mistaken.
Mrs. W.		Believe me, Mr. Puke.  I only want what's best for sally.
Mr. Puke	Yes, I don't doubt that.  
		[Bobby enters, carrying tray with the china]
		[Bobby sets a small table.]
		[Bobby concentrates, then pukes into coffee cups on table.]
		[Bobby wipes chin with shirt]
Mr. Puke	Coffee?
Mrs. W.		Oh god, no!  This is the most disgusting thing I have
		ever witnessed.  How can you live like this?
Mr. Puke	[looks around, bewildered]  I'm not aware of anything wrong.
		[Mr. Puke sips coffee]  Hmm, I'm going to have my wife pack
		more cream and sugar in Bobby's lunch next time we have coffee
		for guests.  Peanut butter makes it taste a little off.
Mrs. W.		Good lord, I'm calling the Federal juvenile agency, and...
Mrs. Puke	[From kitchen]  Dinner is served.
		[Mrs. W. and Mr. P enter dinner room.  The other pukes
		are sitting around the table]
Mr. Puke	Please, Mrs. Wilkinson, why don't you sit next
		to Sally?
		[Mr. Puke pulls the chair for Mrs. Wilkinson]
		[Mr. Puke seats himself.]
		[Mrs. Puke enters from kitchen]
Mrs. Puke	Here we go.
		[Mrs. Puke bends over table, then major pukes all over it.]
Bobby		Oh yum, Pot Roast!
Sally		Oh goody!  With potatoes!  Thanks, mom.
		[The pukes pick up utensils and begin to eat greedily.]
Mrs. W		This isn't happening.  [She begins to breathe faster]
Bobby		[looking up from eating]  Oh gross, she's hyperventilating.
Mrs. Puke	Oh, no.  [She gets up and runs to the other room.]
		[fade to black]
		[fade from black, ambulance is driving away]
		[Pukes are in doorway, watching]
Mr.Puke		Well, I guess that's that.  I know!  Let's go for a walk!
		[Music up as The pukes walk off into the sunset]
		[One pukes]
		[fade to black, silence]