Production Coup - Looneys Hack Show - Show 201 Kevin Brayton -- 06 Apr 1994 ------------------------------------------------------------------ Time: 03:30 ------------------------------------------------------------------ Cast: Anchor John Squirrelhammer Kage himself Peri herself ------------------------------------------------------------------ Cam: VO: We interrupt this programme for a special report from KNN Cam: shot of news anchor behind desk Anchor: We have just been informed of some disturbing political unrest behind the scenes of the Looneys Hack Show. Our sources indicate that there has been a takeover attempt by a faction led by the show's music director, Kevin Brayton. It is said that this faction consists of himself, a white poodle named Buffy, and a small piece of drier lint whose name is yet unknown. We have on the phone with us right now, John Squirrelhammer, from inside the Looney Hack Show production office. John, can you hear me? Cam: John: Yes, I can hear you, Mark. It looks like a tense situation down here right now. It's really hard to tell who is ahead. There's paper everywhere. Reporter: John, can you tell us about the opposing factions? John: Sure, what we have here is the music director, Kevin Brayton, a white poodle, Buffy, and a piece of drier lint, Conrad, who are trying to take over the production of the show from Perette Barella. Supporters of Perette are limited it looks like. I only see a banana taking her defense. And, we all know that bananas are yellow, so there doesn't seem to be much hope for Perette, as she is vastly outnumbered. Sound Effect: small explosions in the background John: A paper airplane just flew overhead and dropped an small explosive device nearby. There's another one coming this way. Duck! Sound Effect: slightly larger explosion Anchor: John, can you describe these airplanes to our viewers? Cam: Anchor: John? Can you hear me? Cam: back to reporter Anchor: We seem to have lost contact with our correspondent in the Looneys Hack Show production offices. Let me recap the situation for those of you who have just tuned in. A massive political takeover is being staged at the Looneys Hack Show production offices. Perette Barella, producer of the show, is under attack from the music director, Kevin Brayton, a white poodle named Buffy and a piece of drier lint named Conrad. We do not yet know what fueled this attack. We believe it may have something to do with the unholy rituals of J. Edgar Hoover in the 1940s. Again, we have lost contact with our correspondent, John SquirrelHammer, and we believe he may have become a victim of the coup. Wait a minute, we have John back. Cam: picture of John Anchor: John, tell us what happened. John: There was a paper airplane bomber heading straight toward me, so I ducked. Unfortunately, the phone was on the floor and I landed on the hold button. In the frenzy, it took me a while to figure out what happened. Anchor: Can you update us on the situation? John: Yes, all is quiet now apart from the occasional yip from Buffy. It looks as though the coup attempt was successful. Now that the smoke has cleared, I can't see Perette any longer. Oh, there she is, in the chair in the corner, eating a banana. Conrad has just said that I can have an interview with Kevin. Cam: picture of John and Kevin talking together John: Kevin, I think the American public have only two questions on their minds. First, why did you do it? Kevin: We were just unhappy with the direction that the show was taking. We wanted to see more jokes about cows, poodles and drier lint. We wanted to bring the show into the 80s, oh wait a minute, the 90s and become more political. In fact, Conrad was thinking about running for Governor of New York this year against Howard Stern and Mario Cuomo and we think that he's got a really good chance of getting the Republican nomination. This is just our first step in taking over the world!! John: And, the second question is, what is Perette going to do now? Kevin: We've decided to let her stay on as Editor, Writer, Actress, Assistant Producer for now, until her usefulness is at an end. Then we will hand her over to the America's Funniest Home Videos crew. John: Thank you for your time. Back to you, Mark. Cam: back to mark Anchor: Thank you, John. Now we will return you to our regularly scheduled programme already in progress. This has been a KNN Special Report. Cam: SPECIAL REPORT graphic w/ a picture of drier lint -- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Kevin Brayton "I wouldn't criticize you for being an idiot." kgb8752 - An RIT CS professor