Handiman cooking skit
Written 1994 May 23 15:20 Perette Michelle Barella

--
Cast of characters
	Bob Vinta (host)	
	Norman Abraham (assistant)

--
Script:
[Open credits]
<Bob is cutting a loaf of italian bread with a wood saw.  He finishes,
sets the piece aside, stops and looks up.>
Bob:	Welcome to another edition of handiman cooking, I'm Bob Vinta.
Norm:	And I'm Norman Abraham.  Today, we're going to be baking a cake.
Bob:	That's right Norm, we're going to be making a <flavor> cake.
	For this project, you'll need the following ingredients:
(Show completed cake, textover the ingredients as they are spoken)
(Bob lists the ingredients and their quantities)
Norm:	The first step is to preheat the oven to <num> degrees.
Bob:	And remember, if your oven has a broiler/bake switch, make sure
	it is set for bake.
Norm:	That's right Bob, if you cook a cake using the broiler, you'll
	end up with a terrible cake.
Bob:	Now that the oven is heating, begin mixing the ingredients.
	Add the <list> together and mix them.  A 2-inch or larger 
	bit makes a good mixing tool.
(Bob puts the 2-inch drill bit into a drill)
	Mix the cake for <n> minutes.
(fires it up and mixes the cake)
	(show mixing for a bit, cut to stopping)
Norm:	Okay, the next step is to grease a 13 by 9 baking pan.
	(Whips out a measure tape and measures a pan he's got nearby)
	Now let me point
	out that this is a very misleading statement: "Greasing" a pan
	involves no grease at all.  Instead, use butter or shortening.
	Spread the butter around bottom or edges of the pan.  Next, take
	a little bit of flour and spread it in the pan.  Shake it around
	so that it covers the whole surface.
Bob:	Now we're ready to load the cake into the pan.
(bob does so)
	Now pop the cake into the oven and cook it for <n> minutes.
(bob puts cake in oven)
	<n> minutes, that's about three beers, let's go watch the game
	Norm.
(fade out/in)
(Bob and norm walk into kitchen)
Norm:	(takes swig O'Beer, burps, throws can into trash)
Bob:	The cake should be done cooking now, so let's take a look.
	Remember to wear welders gloves while removing hot items from the
	oven.
(Bob dons the mits and pulls out the cake)
Norm:	(sniffs cake)  That smells great.
Bob:	(sniffs) Yes it does.
Norm:	I can't wait to put some frosting on and eat it.
Bob:	I know Norm, but it is important to wait for the cake to cool
	before attempting to frost it.
(fade out/in)
Bob:	Unfortunately, we're low on
	time so we can't show how to do frosting this week.  However,
	most of your store bought frostings will do adequately.
Norm:	For frosting, I use a drywall trowel, although any trowel will
	do.  Warm the frosting slightly, then use the trowel to spread
	the frosting evenly across the surface of the cake.
(Norm does so)
(Fade out/in)
(Bob is cutting with a skill saw, stops, takes a trowel and delivers
cake pieces to 2 plates, looks at camera)
Bob:	Well, that wraps it up for this week.  Next
	week we'll be showing you how to make your own frosting for your
	cake, and covering sandwich making techniques.  Thanks for watching,
	I'm Bob Vinta,
(As he is talking, bob puts the cake slices on opposite sides of table.
Norm comes in with beer, puts beer next to each slice, pops his open,
bob also reaches over and pops his open)
Norm:	and I'm Norman Abraham, Thanks for tuning in to Handiman Cooking.
Both:	Bye bye! (wave, turn back to scarfing cake & beer drinking,
set dims, roll credits over cake scarfing)