Control commercial for the Looney's Hack Show

Date: Tue, 11 Aug 92 09:27:34 EDT
From: adw@sunsrvr1.cci.com (Allen Williams (co-op))
To: bjp2399@ritvax.isc.rit.edu, pmb1566@ultb.isc.rit.edu


COMMERCIAL:

Scene: A mall for snobs (WASP). Among the patrons, there are two moms sitting
       on a bench. Mom #1 looks tired and disheveled. Her hair is a mess and
       her kids (4 of them) are being rowdy, pulling each other's hair,
       screaming, climbing mall trees, bumping into passing shoppers and
       being a nusance. Mom #1 makes some weak protests but she's way too
       tired to do much.


       An older couple pass by. They are old and expensively dressed, and
       speak in Hav-ad accents.

Older Woman: 	My, what rude ruffians, Harold! Just simply atrocious! It
		must be bad upbringing and pedigree for someone to let children
		act like... like.. gorillias or chimpanzees!

Older Man:	Quite right, Mildred, let's go find a policeman who will
		put these unbehaved animals to the zoo!


Mom #1 looks unhappy and looks dispairingly at her children, she looks about
	ready to snap.

The couple go a few steps, but the Older Woman stops and looks approvingly
at Mom #2's children. Mom #2's children are sitting on another bench, and they
are sitting quietly. Each of the children are well dressed, and they don't
fidget.

Older Woman: My! Look at those well behaved children! Aren't they adorable,
	     Harold?

Older Man:   Absolutely! Fine, young disclipined children! Properly raised,
	     and sure to be a credit at any Ivy League!

Older couple glares at Mom #1, who withers, and Mom #2 smiles conscendingly,
	nose in air.

Mom #1: Oh, I'm at my wit's end! How can I make my children behave? Do you
	go to a child physchologist? I don't see how you do it!

Mom #2: Why, nothing as expensive as that! I use CONTROL, the child sedative
	approved for use by hyperactive children!

Scene shifts sightly to Mom #2's children, who look somewhat zonked out.

Mom #1:	Really! I can see that it works very well!

Mom #2: That's right! More than half of the mothers at my country club use
	CONTROL, and I have absolutley no problem ensuring that my children
	are in their absolute best behavior when their nanny's not around.

Mom #1: I'll try it on my children! Mabye I will become a social maven once
	again!

Mom #2: And it's available by prescription at better doctors everywhere! And
	my children jusst love it, it's addicting!

A little girl belonging to Mom #2 walks up to Mom #2 and tugs at her sleeve:

Little Girl: M..m..more pills, mommy!

Mom #2: Why, sure, Suzy! What a good little girl!

Mom #2 gets a whole handful of pills from a big bottle, gives it to Suzy, 
	who scarfs them down eagerly. Mom #2 gives the bottle to Mom #1,
	winking knowingly.

Voice Over: 	Make your children behave with CONTROL, the finest child
		behavior modification system available today! Ask your
		family doctor about CONTROL!