How to sell things for 19.95 advert for the Looneys Hack Show, 
Episode 2 : Dead Things

Have you run into the habit of buying things on TV for 19 95?
Have you wondered how companies manage sell such crud and make
a profit?
Have you thought about getting into the 19 95 business yourself?
Then the 19 95 Sales Guide is for you.

The 1995 sales guide is a step by step book that details how
to sell a product for 1995.  From getting a 1-800 number, to
writing and producing a commercial.  From guarantees to the
fine print on the bottom of your TV advert, this book covers
it all.  It even includes a section on how to make your product
sound impressive when it's not.

But that's not all.  If you order today you also get this 19 95
Sales Commercial videotape.  This videotape details how to write
a good 19 95 advertisement, including how to speak in an
authoritatively low voice, what small print you need, and what
shade of blue background you need for the address at the end
of the commercial.  This videotape normally costs $24.95, but
if you order today, you get the book and the videotape for
only 1995.  That's a 44.90 value for just 19 95 - a 55% savings.

Our package is guaranteed to sell your product for 19 95, or
tripple your money back.  (little print: Within 21 days of
ordering.  Please allow 4 - 6 weeks for deliver)  There's no
risk involved, and no further commitment, so order today.

Vista and mastercharge orders accept, call 1-800-515-1995.
Or send check or money order for 1995 plus 350 shipping and
handling and appropriate tax today to:
	19.95 Ripoffs
	One Lomb American Way
	Roanoake, Virginia  38258
Again that number is 1-800-515-1995.  Have your vista or mastercharge
card ready when you call.

Sorry, no CODs accepted.  There is a 10% charge on all cancelled orders.
Videotape is available on VHS in pal format only.