Perette

I've studied modern American social archetypes and the see-covet-borrow-spend-work cycle, which has kept many of us trapped in a vicious cycle of trying to fill gaps in our souls with stuff, and thus distracted from the reality that this can't work because consumerism doesn't feed the soul. Escaping this cycle explains why, despite making a pittance compared to my prior life, I am happier.

I've moved on to study socializing and developing my social skills. It seems that being an introvert is something that can be overcome, though not easily or painlessly, by studying and practicing interacting with others. Given time constraints of life, this requires trading-off faux interaction such as television and less personal forms of interaction such as the Internet, for actual experiences in the real world. So, although you can mail me, I am unlikely to write back.

For work these days, I've been modeling (I got to be an extra in the upcoming movie Sophomore, about which my excitement is completely unjustified), doing some web design, and doing completely menial labor by counting inventory in retail and grocery stores where I get first-hand experience being prejudged by shoppers as a a loser (when I'm piece-scanning each item) or as some sort of savant (when I'm keying quantities as I glance at merchandise). It's been an opportunity to see the magnitude of consumerism, and although I do occasionally feel product lust I'm glad I'm usually out of that game.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to develop more real-life social interactions. It's hard because I am innately introverted, and the Internet and TV provide such opportunity for distraction that it's hard to bring people together with any regularity. Nor does it help that the intellectual geeks I'm most attracted to socially are the same demographic that most wants to waste their life playing on-line gaming.

• For more on what I'm presently up to and ideas I'm considering, see my journal and the recent changes page.
• For complete essays, see my writings.